Why we need to stop saying 'I'm so OCD' or 'everyone's got ADHD'
A tidy desk becomes "OCD". Bored in a meeting? "ADHD". A disappointing exam result? "That was traumatising." It's part of the idea behind "concept creep".
As conversations about mental health have become more common, the language of diagnosis has slipped into everyday life too.
On the plus side, psychologists say greater awareness has helped reduce stigma and encouraged more people to seek support. But when conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or trauma are used to describe average everyday experiences, it can minimise what life is actually like for people living with them.
MindMatters founder and clinical psychologist Louise Cowpertwait says some clients delayed getting help after hearing these comments often.
"Like someone experiencing paralysing anxiety attacks who thought they were just being silly. Or someone suffering so much everyday masking ADHD struggles but hasn’t got assessed because 'everyone's ADHD these days'."
Clinical psychologist Kirsty Ross, a professor at Massey University, says increased awareness has helped some recognise symptoms earlier and seek support. But, at the same time, some of her clients feel frustrated when serious conditions "reduced to everyday personality quirks or social media shorthand".
For those living with these diagnoses, it can feel trivialised, even when no harm is intended, says clinical psychologist Sarah Watson, founder of Totally Psyched.
Some of her clients – most of whom are youth and adolescents - feel annoyed or upset by these comments. She recalls one woman who ended a friendship after repeated comments about OCD stereotypes left her feeling more ashamed.
Why do we reach for labels?
According to Watson, it's usually not malicious. Often, people are simply trying to explain the intensity of an experience or communicate that a behaviour feels unusual (even though it may not be unique).
"If you said to them, 'but you're not actually OCD', the response I imagine would be, 'yeah, but you know what I mean'."
Psychologists even have a term for this trend: concept creep. Coined by Australian psychologist Nick Haslam, the phrase describes how concepts such as trauma, abuse, addiction and mental illness have gradually expanded to cover a wider range of experiences than they once did.
Social media may be speeding up that process, Haslam argues, with a 2018 study finding mental health conditions are often trivialised on these platforms, "where it is often remarked that everyone 'is a little bit OCD'."
On the other hand, Victoria University of Wellington lecturer and clinical psychologist Kris Nielsen says it's important to note greater awareness can help people better understand themselves, connect with others and feel more comfortable seeking support.
"It's important not to overreact as we probably have under-awareness and over-awareness happening at the same time in different parts of society."
Haslam's research also suggests concept creep is more common among younger and liberal-minded people.
When does it become a problem?
Some researchers like Haslam worry that viewing more experiences through a clinical lens could encourage self-diagnosis or self-labelling. In a 2024 US study, Haslam and researcher Jesse Tse found people with broader concepts of mental illness were more likely to believe they had a mental illness, despite lacking a formal diagnosis. (He notes the findings are correlational.)
There are also concerns about how that may influence our sense of agency. Another 2024 study found self-labelling of depression among US students was linked to use of less effective coping strategies, lower levels of perceived control and more positive attitudes towards medication but not therapy. (Findings are again correlational but indicative, Haslam says.)
It's a delicate balance though. Massey University’s Ross says while it's important not to interpret normal human emotions as symptoms of a disorder, recognising yourself in the description of a condition can be the first step in deciding whether you need professional help.
What role is social media playing?
Victoria University of Wellington's Nielsen says public systems have not kept pace with growing awareness, meaning some may be turning to social media to understand their emotions or behaviour.
But quick TikTok or Instagram reels, for example, don’t always contain the depth or nuance required to understand conditions and symptoms, he says. Recent studies abroad have looked into whether TikTok videos are a useful source of accurate information on conditions like ADHD, OCD and dissociative identity.
Totally Psyched's Watson says some clients now arrive convinced they know exactly what their diagnosis is, based on what they've seen online. One common example is young women who believe they have borderline personality disorder when they may instead be experiencing emotional dysregulation or responding to difficult life circumstances.
"There's so much on social media about being borderline, because that goes with the self-harm culture, and also, there are some that want ... to have a mental health diagnosis… A mental health diagnosis can kind of legitimise that they need to be cared for more."
However, MindMatters’ Cowpertwait says it's rare for people to seek professional help for no reason, even if they have misunderstood the label that best fits their experience. Plus, assessments can be expensive, she adds, making it understandable that people do research beforehand.
"I find that actually people are coming generally better informed, so people will have done some research and, yes, there's lots of rubbish content out there like on social media, but there is also access to lots of really good content."
Should we be more careful with what we say?
Ross says diagnoses are best thought of as tools, not identities.
"We can normalise psychological distress without pathologising every aspect of ordinary human experience.
"It shouldn't become a catch-all explanation for every difficult emotion or personality difference. It would be great if as a society, we keep talking openly about mental health while also using clinical language and diagnoses carefully."
Cowpertwait says people may also be struggling in ways we don’t recognise.
"It’s often difficult to know when you look at someone, because we as New Zealanders are very good at masking our distress to appear 'alright'.
"Without this understanding, we can be missed, dismissed, others can be sceptical anything’s wrong, or we can gaslight ourselves that we need to just 'harden up'."
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