The Independent is marking the biggest TV moments of the year so far, from the ones that got the nation talking to the scenes that moved us or made us laugh. In a series of articles running this summer, insiders share the part they played in making them happen.

“I’m going to be haunted by this for the rest of my life,” laments the author Harriet Tyce, whose turn on The Traitors earlier this year will go down in history as one of the show’s most memorable moments – though not quite for the reasons she had hoped.

It was episode seven, past the halfway mark of the BBC reality show’s fourth season, and Tyce was at the end of her tether. She had her eyes set on Rachel Duffy, the well-liked marketing manager from Ireland whom she suspected of being one of three undercover Traitors. A former barrister and bestselling crime writer, Tyce knew how important it was to air her suspicions strategically and at the exact right time. Then came breakfast.

In a scene that had the bite of a criminal thriller and the sting of a courtroom drama, Tyce laid out her argument against a baffled-looking Duffy with gumption – perhaps too much gumption, given that the breakfast table quickly descended into a screaming match over smoked salmon and pastries. “The benefit is to set the cat among the pigeons, Roxy!” Tyce shouted at her fellow Faithful, who had chastised her for interrupting Duffy’s line of questioning.

Below, Tyce talks us through how behind-the-scenes drama had led to on-camera fireworks, and why she’d much rather forget the whole debacle.

‘I like cats and I don’t mind pigeons’

“I realised that the phrase appears in The Witch Trial, my book that was published in February. I finished it at the end of October, the year before I even put in the application so it’s rather a spooky coincidence, which is how it first felt. It’s obviously a phrase I like using, you know, and I like cats, and I don't mind pigeons. And the book by Agatha Christie is absolutely brilliant. So I mean, what are you going to do? It was just front of mind.”

The intensity of the show

“You’re really, really, really immersed. I think we were halfway through already so we had been there for quite a while. You start out fresh-faced, bright eyed, bushy tailed but as the game progresses, especially as a Faithful, there’s a lot of paranoia, and also [the producers] are incredibly clever at creating this entirely immersive experience. We’re staying in our lodgings. We only speak to people within the bubble of the machine of Traitors. We can’t speak to friends and family. It’s long days so you get back late and then it’s hard to go to sleep.

“The pressures of it are such that you really can’t avoid yourself. You can try, but actually, it’s almost designed to elicit an emotional response because as a viewer, we love drama.”

Why Harriet decided to go for it

“The whole idea was that if I could show that I was onto one of them, it might mean the others might turn. I was trying to break up the monolith. I was trying to sow seeds of doubt so there might be more distrust. And so the aim was effectively to throw the cat among the pigeons, just to sort of upset them. And I think that we can all see from the footage that I did cause Rachel some disquiet – at least for a short period of time.

“But by that point I was also really, really tired. I’d taken my shot. I didn’t know if I was right at that stage. I know I said I was sure, but I wasn’t actually sure, and I was just in blind panic – and I don’t take well to people trying to shush me.”

Her relief at actually getting it right

“Can you imagine if I got it wrong? That was what kept going through my head. I barely slept, just thinking, what if I’m wrong? Because you know and you don’t know, and you’re sure and you’re not sure.”

The agony of watching it back

“Unfortunately, I would say that I was consistently myself throughout. Of course I knew I was being filmed, but I was beyond really thinking about it. My higher brain was not engaged at that moment. I mean, that was just a pure emotional response, and I think that’s what’s made it so uncomfortable to watch back because it’s so rare that any of us would actually be recorded [in our worst moments]. I bet those people who have road rage that’s caught on video, they look back on that and – if they’re capable of any self-reflection – feel utter mortification.

“But when we’re caught in that moment, the last thing you’re thinking about is what you look like to other people, and then when you have to see what you look like to other people… I don’t recommend it. As I say, I’m going to be haunted by this – at least until the next series and we can have some other iconic moment that isn’t me yelling in red lipstick.

“I definitely had the sense that people can relate. Everybody has shouted over breakfast and if you tell me you haven’t, I don’t believe you. It’s as simple as that. We’ve all lost it on family holidays or, you know, it’s halfway through a week away with friends and there’s a Barney over the dishwasher. It goes with the territory. It’s gonna happen.”