Football, bloody Hull, to misquote Sir Alex Ferguson. The first shock of the season came on the banks of the Humber and at the expense of Ferguson’s former club. Inspired for half a season under Michael Carrick, Manchester United were insipid at the beginning of his first full campaign in charge. “Bitterly disappointed,” he said as Hull showed their capacity for surprises was not confined to an unexpected promotion.

This was spectacular stuff from Sergey Jakirovic’s team and, amid the inquest into a dreadful United display, it should not be forgotten that the deserved winners were superb. Defiant in defence, ruthless when they glimpsed an opportunity, justifying their nickname with their tigerish approach to closing down, they carried their momentum from Wembley in May back home.

But it was a shambolic start to the season from United. Frail at the back, powder-puff in midfield and lacking a genuine striker for three-quarters of the match, they could not use the World Cup as an excuse for their sluggishness: only four of the outfield personnel to begin the game were even at it. The new midfield double act of Youri Tielemans and Andrey Santos were taken off together, an £83m pairing floundering against Hull’s £50,000 buy Regan Slater and the United fan Matt Crooks. “Cheapest midfield two in the league,” said Crooks. United may have to respond by pushing through their £70m deal for Carlos Baleba.

If it felt like Hull had borrowed from the pragmatic formula Leeds used to stay up last year, United offered a throwback to Ruben Amorim’s reign by struggling at set-pieces. They conceded to a corner and then to a free kick. Jakirovic stacked his side with defenders. Two of them scored. United were overpowered in the air, an early sign they may miss Casemiro in their own penalty area. “We've been pretty good at [set-pieces] for a period of time, but it's decided the game,” reflected Carrick. Jakirovic’s training-ground work paid off. “We tried something on Friday,” the Hull manager said. “We had some plan there to try and punish them.” His strategy, he smiled, “is a secret”.

The scorers provided a tale of Hull’s recent history. Last summer, they were under an embargo that meant they could not buy players. Semi Ajayi, who joined on a free transfer then, scored their first top-flight goal since 2017. The second came from Nobel Mendy, the £22m purchase from Real Betis. Promotion has unlocked millions. If Hull may have spent them wisely, it was nevertheless the case that eight of the starters began the play-off final win over Middlesbrough. “I had to convince my players that we are capable to play on this level,” said Jakirovic. The graduates from the Championship acquitted themselves superbly. They had the fourth worst defensive record in the second tier but kept a clean sheet with few alarms, despite missing eight injured players.

The £20m goalkeeper Konstantinos Tzolakis was a reassuring presence, even if he was not overly tested. The Greek saved from Bryan Mbeumo in either half and the Cameroonian was one of only two United starters who could conceivably be satisfied with their display. It is an indictment that the other was the goalkeeper, Senne Lammens.

He made two terrific saves in as many minutes from Oli McBurnie but, when clawing his shot on to the post from the second, he could not prevent Ajayi from following up to finish. Only Leeds had ever gone 2-0 up against Carrick’s United but Hull took them in a select group of Yorkshire clubs, Mendy outjumping Luke Shaw to head in Slater’s free kick. A Nobel prize, perhaps, for the newcomer.

Yet the man of the match, surely, was McBurnie, even if Ryan Giles officially claimed that honour among many contenders. The Scotland striker scored the goal that took Hull into the Premier League and set up their first back in the division. A cult hero of a centre-forward was a talismanic figure, indefatigable and inimitable. He set up Cody Drameh when the substitute almost added a third goal.

Meanwhile United began with the falsest of false nines, in Matheus Cunha, who forgot to get in the box. They at least finished with someone in their No 9 shirt: Marcus Rashford, making his first appearance for United for 20 months and coming off the bench.

There may be an irony that United lost to a team playing 3-4-3; indeed, they did last week, in a friendly against Amorim’s AC Milan. Perhaps United cannot play against the system they could not play with.

Their captain saw other issues. “Same mistakes as we did last season every away game,” said Bruno Fernandes, in a damning appraisal.

Carrick, unsurprisingly, was less critical. “It won't knock us,” he said. “It doesn't change the direction of where the football club is going, stay calm and in the bubble."

The danger is that the bubble is burst. Carrick, understated as ever, did not concur. “We have to soak it up and come back stronger,” he said.