For middle-class women of a certain age, redundancy, divorce and illness are the triplet of financial torpedos that can blow up a previously comfortable existence.

When the solid-seeming foundations supporting our lives are ripped away, the emotional and financial fall-out is profound.

No one, male or female, is immune to shocks. But women face particular challenges in bouncing back.

The march of AI into the workplace has led to well-founded fears that the equal opportunities women fought so hard to win are being bulldozed in front of our eyes.

Women aged over 55 are being overtaken in their careers by young, male tech bros, according to recent research by Google. Even the most tech-savvy can find their CV thrown in the digital bin by sexist bots who couldn't care less about decades of achievement.

Which is why an article in the Daily Mail last week by fifty-something former fashion editor Stacey Duguid struck such a chord with so many of her peer group.

Stacey's problems finding a job after taking time off work following a divorce plunged her into a stomach-churning downfall from a six-figure salary to the JobCentre.

None of us is immune from a financial shock, no matter how enviable our careers – but it need not turn into a full-blown midlife money meltdown. A descent like Stacey's is every middle-class woman's worst nightmare and I'm not going to pretend to have a magic set of answers.

The march of AI into the workplace has led to well-founded fears that the equal opportunities women fought so hard to win are being bulldozed in front of our eyes, writes Ruth Sunderland

However, I have navigated potential financial crises myself, including my husband's cancer diagnosis and, more recently, my move from a full-time executive job to starting my own business.

My message, based on my experience and 30 years of writing about money, is this: the more financial control and confidence a woman acquires, the greater her chances of surviving life's disasters and maybe even coming out stronger.

This is not merely a feminist manifesto. The more financially resilient we are, the better we can step up for our families.

My mum's earnings as a teacher kept our household afloat when my father was made redundant in the 1990s. Similarly, I was thankful to able to act as breadwinner when my husband was laid low with cancer. I've talked to three female financial experts – and one male one – on how to beat a midlife money meltdown.

Knowledge is power

'One of the best ways for women to build resilience is to take an active role in your finances,' says Clare Moffat, tax and pensions expert at Royal London.

In other words, if you have a partner, do not leave the finances to them. Ideally, have open, regular conversations about money and be aware of one another's savings, investments and debts.

'Financial independence isn't about having to manage everything on your own. It's about having enough knowledge and confidence, so you're not left in the dark if circumstances change,' adds Moffat. 'Taking decisive action can help protect your financial future.'

Stacey Duguid has faced problems finding a job after taking time off work following a divorce

Control your spending

Going through your outgoings to identify wasteful and needless spending is a good regular practice.

Why are you paying for a subscription you haven't used for years? Check out comparison sites to see if you can cut bills. The boss of Moneysupermarket.com's parent company told me last week that his customers collectively saved around £3 billion last year by using the site.

Almost all of us could pare back on household bills. That money can be put to work for you to build financial muscle for the future.

Thinking of safety first

A girl's best friend is not diamonds but an emergency fund.

Financial advisers recommend setting aside six months to a year's outgoings.

That sounds a lot – but even small, regular amounts accumulate over time.

How much is enough really? Lisa Doig, a financial adviser with Thorntons Wealth, says: 'It's all relative to your wealth, but £20,000 is a comfortable amount for many. That would cover a new boiler, a deposit for a car and so forth.'

Building up some wealth

Having a cash emergency fund that you can access quickly is essential. The problem with deposit accounts, however, is they have a nasty habit of losing value because of inflation. The best way, therefore, to accumulate long-term wealth is to invest in stocks and shares.

'One of the best ways for women to build resilience is to take an active role in your finances,' says Clare Moffat, tax and pensions expert at Royal London

It's possible to do this with small, regular sums from £25 a month. Spread the risk by buying funds such as investment trusts that hold a collection of shares and other assets. If you use an Individual Savings Account (Isa), it's tax-free.

'Research suggests that women are actually better investors than men,' says Richard Watkins, a chartered financial planner at Continuum. 'They trade less, leave ego and emotion out of decisions and plan for the long term.

'This results in better performance of around 0.8 pc a year, which might not sound much but turns into a significant outperformance over 20 years or more.'

If you start in midlife, you might even become an Isa millionairess.

Take inspiration from Jane Barr, now 77, who retired in her 50s after a divorce. She built up a portfolio worth just over £2million in her Isas by investing regular amounts from her modest salary, as she explained to my colleague Jeff Prestridge.

Prioritise pensions

Never neglect your pension. It is essential for the fabulous 'future you' who will emerge from the current crisis.

Because of generally lower pay and career breaks to care for children, women typically retire with savings worth around 55 pc less than men.

So pay as much into a pension plan as you can, whenever you can.

In an ideal world, women would have been building their financial strength gradually, so that when a trauma strikes they start off well-equipped to handle it. Even if that is not the case, midlife is not too late to bounce back.

If you work for an employer, you will benefit from free payments from them into your plan, as well as tax relief on contributions at your highest rate.

'Making pension saving a priority throughout your career, and being confident about negotiating pay and progression, can make a significant difference to financial security in later life,' says Moffat.

In divorces, pensions are often overlooked, even though they are usually the biggest asset after the family home.

As a consequence, divorced women reach retirement with around 61 pc less private pension wealth than divorced men. Don't let that be you.

Know your rights and make sure you get what you're entitled to. There are three main options when dealing with pensions in a divorce. You can share them on a clean-break basis, one partner can earmark some of the income to be paid out after retirement or you can offset their value against other assets.

If you are made redundant and don't need to use your entire settlement, it may make sense to stash some of it in your pension, particularly if you are close to the age of being able to draw on it.

You can pay up to £60,000 or 100 pc of your annual earnings, whichever is the lowest, into your pension each year.

That will boost your retirement income and save tax.

'Paying part of a redundancy package into a pension can be a tax-efficient option,' adds Moffat.

If you are aged 55 or over, you can start drawing your private pension, but bear in mind that means less in the pot for later.

Invest in yourself

The best investment you can make is in yourself.

Up-to-date skills are crucial for midlife women. Mid-level admin and service roles typically held by women are under particular threat from AI.

Kate Alessi, the boss of Google in the UK and herself a midlife woman, recently commissioned research that found only 4 pc of women aged over 55 are advanced AI users.

She says: 'There is a risk existing inequalities will become more entrenched, so it's important we address this, but the good news is that it is very solvable. It is quite simple for anyone to use AI skills.'

For details of online AI courses, including for beginners, see the government hub: aiskillshub.org.uk/aiskillsboost/ or type grow.google into your search bar.

Even if you feel secure in your career right now, it is worth keeping your professional profile up to date on LinkedIn and other networking and job sites. Invest in real-life friendships and professional contacts.

Human beings who know how brilliant you are will be far more likely to help you find work than a sexist, ageist bot.

Self-employment is another route. I'm working like a demon now I am in business for myself, but I love being my own boss.

Don't panic

The immediate period after a trauma is not an ideal time to make big financial decisions such as selling a property.

Wait until emotions have calmed and consider consulting a professional financial adviser.

'I often work with women going through divorce in midlife, mainly coming out of long marriages and not used to handling the finances,' says Louise Oliver, a financial expert at Piercefield Oliver.

'They reach out to me as an expert and they often feel safer with me being a female financial planner.'

Unfortunately, only 16 pc of advisers are female, according to Louise, who adds: 'The same emotions and principles can apply to redundancy.'

Richard Watkins advises keeping a sense of perspective. In most cases, he says women can handle midlife shocks without a catastrophe.

'Full-on money meltdowns among professional women are actually fairly rare in my experience,' he says.

'Women today can earn more and may inherit more than their mothers did. In my experience, professional women are articulate and well able to act on financial matters.'

Divorce, redundancy or both in midlife may feel like the end of the world. But Lisa Doig says: 'It doesn't have to be.

'I am on my second divorce and it's actually a happy one.'

You can obtain free information from organisations such as the government-backed Pension Wise, but not advice or recommendations.

For individual advice to fit your personal circumstances, you need a qualified adviser regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority.

You can find an adviser on websites such as unbiased.co.uk or vouchedfor.co.uk, which show details of companies in your area or that suit your needs.

Initial meetings with a financial adviser, lasting an hour or so, are usually free. That is a very useful resource, but keep in mind an hour isn't long when discussing decisions that could shape the rest of your life.

It's not too late

In an ideal world, women would have been building their financial strength gradually, so that when a trauma strikes they start off well-equipped to handle it.

Even if that is not the case, midlife is not too late to bounce back.

'Financial resilience isn't built overnight, but small steps taken today can make it much easier to cope with whatever life throws at you tomorrow,' says Moffat.

'A setback in your 40s or 50s doesn't mean you can't rebuild.'

5 tips to survive and thrive

Take stock: Get a clear, unemotional picture of debts, assets and spending. A short pause for breath will produce better outcomes than panic moves.

Consider independent advice: Heightened emotions can lead to poor decisions. Friends and family may not be objective. A professional adviser may be the answer.

Self-belief: Research from bodies such as the Financial Conduct Authority's Financial Lives survey has repeatedly found that women report lower financial confidence than men, even when their underlying knowledge is comparable. That can lead to excessive fear and caution. Back yourself.

Rent a room: The Rent a Room scheme allows up to £7,500 a year tax-free for a single owner letting out a spare room in their main home.

Monetise a hobby: A good friend began making money in her 60s from her hobby by offering workshops on how to make jewellery from sea glass. Baking, sewing, tutoring, photography and writing may all be ways of bringing in income.

Have you survived a financial meltdown? Email

moneymail@dailymail.co.uk