With nearly 80 percent of Gen Z daters reporting some level of swipe fatigue, according to a Forbes Health survey, and IRL dating experiencing a slow death as fewer people take the risk of asking someone out, what is a single young person supposed to do these days?
If you're over hookup apps but don't see yourself going to a bar or singles meetup, there are online alternatives that deserve your attention, especially legacy dating sites that predate the swipe phenomenon. Typically, these sites feature more robust communities and more extensive personal bios, both of which make them a welcome alternative to the swipe-based mechanics of the most popular dating apps.
One site in particular deserves your attention, probably because it's so easy for younger daters to overlook: AdultFriendFinder. Founded in 1996, AFF has three decades of history, so if you're burned out or striking out on the apps, it's worth a closer look.
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Here's a short list of the pros and cons of AFF for Gen Z daters:
Pro: Built-in communities
Modern dating apps can feel very isolating, especially when you're not getting any matches. You may put in hours swiping or liking profiles, carefully taking your time to assess compatibility, only to discover at the end of the week that all your attention hasn't been reciprocated. To call that a bummer is a major understatement …
Thankfully, there are alternatives to this doom cycle, and AFF cracked this code long ago: spaces where singles can meet in groups, have organic chats, and assess attraction more slowly and carefully, either through words, images, or webcam feeds.
AdultFriendFinder has a Community tab, prominently displayed on the top-center ribbon, where you can interact with other users in public spaces such as blogs, contests, polls, stories, and interest groups. In addition, there's a Live Action tab where you can either broadcast your own webcam feed in hopes of attracting interested viewers or join someone else's live feed if you happen to catch their eye.
In all these cases, AFF has created pathways to connection that transcend the swipe, making it a great option for Gen Z daters dealing with app burnout.
Con: Age distribution
One thing that's immediately striking upon logging into AdultFriendFinder is that the site hosts a wide range of ages, from the early 20s to the mid-60s and beyond. AdultFriendFinder has not responded to our requests for specifics about their age demographics, but past estimates have placed the majority demographic somewhere in the 30-38 age range, which means Gen Z, who are still not in their 30s, are not widely represented.
In one sense, that's a definite con: you'll have a hard time meeting people your age. On the other hand, if you're not opposed to dating cross-generationally — and there's evidence that singles are becoming more open to this — this can work in your favor.
Pro: A site-only dating experience
Because it hosts nudity, AdultFriendFinder has never been allowed to offer an app in either the Apple App Store or the Google Play Store, and while there is a sneaky workaround for those who really want a phone experience, the truth is that a huge contributing factor to dating app burnout is the omnipresent nature of dating apps. If you can swipe on public transit, in between work sessions, at the gym, or on the toilet, you're never really away from the app. On the other hand, a dating website that requires a computer or tablet to access is a lot less accessible.
If you can self-diagnose as suffering from swipe fatigue, compartmentalizing your dating life from, well, the entire rest of your existence is a good first step on the journey to recovery. It's also a good way to insist on taking the whole process seriously. It's easy to be casual about an app, especially one you can access anywhere, but navigating a dating site requires time and intention, both of which are the antidotes to the app burnout plaguing Gen Z.
Con: Paid memberships are a necessity
In general, younger daters spend less on dates these days, so it's no small hurdle to ask them to drop precious cash on a monthly dating app subscription when there are other, totally free alternatives, but AdultFriendFinder offers some enticing, member-only perks, chief among them the ability to actually message people one-on-one.
If you want to restrict yourself to a free membership, you can totally get away with it in public areas, where it's easiest to start conversations with strangers. But if you do happen to meet someone you vibe with, it will frustrate you that you can't take that conversation private.
Subscription costs vary by location and the length of your commitment, but expect to pay between $20 and $35 per month for the Gold membership. It's not cheap, sure, but it's also a small sum to conquer swipe fatigue and give you a more community-based dating experience.