The last time I went to the movies, there was a group of teenagers sitting a row behind me who talked through the entire movie.

"Man, this has to be the worst bit of poor social etiquette that could ever happen in a movie theater," I remember thinking, as I tried to block it out and zero in on the finer plot points of "Minions and Monsters" (which was great, by the way).

Well, according to reports coming from a showing of "Spider-Man: Brand New Day" in Colombia, I was mistaken.

According to The New York Post, someone had to pull the e-brake on a showing of the latest Tom Holland-led Spider-Man flick because someone in the theater just could not stop dropping more gaseous bombs than the Green Goblin.

This is just absurd...

You get one fart, maybe a second if I'm feeling generous with the benefit of the doubt, but enough to clear a packed theater?

No. Unacceptable. Not in my America... or Colombia.

And not just any theater. A theater full of Marvel nerds.

A mouse gasser could clear out an arthouse theater, but if you've ever been to a comic book convention, you'll know that those folks are willing to put up with a lot on the olfactory front.

So for them to be like, "This is too much, we must bail," it must have meant that theater was truly uninhabitable.

I'm not sure what the theater looked like, but it makes me wonder if this was the kind of theater with recliners. I've been saying for a long time that modern theaters are getting too comfortable.

I don't like the big cushy couches. It makes people feel too comfortable, too at home.

What happens when you feel that way? Someone clears out an entire auditorium of paying customers.

Give me old-fashioned seats any day of the week.

Sure, you might leave with a lower back ache, but at least someone's ass won't chase you out of the theater before the credits start rolling.