It's been a bad season for the 37-year-old pitcher Miles Mikolas. He's got an ERA of 5.67, and he's made a habit of starts where a bunch of guys just wallop what he offers. Only two pitchers in MLB have allowed more dingers than he's surrendered, and the signs point to Mikolas giving it another go in Japan once his one-year contract expires.

The silver lining, however, is that he plays for the Washington Nationals, and nothing that the Nationals do really matters anymore in the grand scheme of the league. All one can muster as a fan watching their games in this back stretch of the season is to root for something that'll make you say "Oh! Huh." Case in point: The team ran out of position players in extra innings of their contest against the Phillies on Wednesday. Manager Blake Butera used two pinch hitters and two pinch runners, the last of which was Triple-A outfielder Andrew Pinckney, making his MLB debut as a sub for first baseman Abimelec Ortiz. Butera opted not to keep him in the game for the defensive half of the 10th. Instead, he moved his DH to first, lost the DH, then watched new pitcher Clayton Beeter escape the inning with just one run scored, making the game 4-4 in the 11th.

Beeter was due up third in the top half, but after a walk and a triple by Jacob Young and C.J. Abrams, the next day's scheduled starter pinch-hit for the previous inning's pitcher. It was Mikolas, making his first plate appearance since 2021, who seemingly convinced his manager that he was the best man for the job.

“He’s always itching to get out there,” Butera said after the game. “He reminds me every chance he can that he has two career home runs.”

Mikolas wasn't swinging for the fences, however. In a throwback to pre-DH National League baseball, the pitcher put his hand more than halfway up the bat and knocked down a squeeze bunt. The Phillies were ready and fielded it ably, but Abrams was just too fast. The run scored, then Mikolas moved up to third on two walks and eventually came home on a double. After the Phillies went scoreless on their turn, the Nats had earned the team's first win in over a week, 10-4.

There were some quotes in Washington's postgame about how the team is resilient and hasn't lost hope through tough slumps. But the front office gave a big shrug at the deadline, and they still hold the fourth-worst record in the NL after this win, so I don't really care about that. I just appreciate that the old-man pitcher who couldn't miss a bat if it were made of paper did a weird thing that reminded me of a bygone era. See you never, Miles Mikolas.