Each week , Good Weekend’s how-to column shares expert advice on how to navigate some of modern life’s big – and small – challenges. This week: How to contest a will.

Blame blended families, the TV series Succession and rapacious siblings, but will disputes are now a fact of life. And the stakes have never been higher, with a $5.4 trillion wealth transfer from Boomers to their offspring now well underway. So what do you do if you think you’ve been stiffed?*

“First, be sure you’re eligible to bring a claim,” says Melbourne lawyer Andrew Meiliunas, who specialises in wills and estate disputes. “It’s relatively straightforward if you’re a spouse, child or stepchild, but more complex if you’re a domestic partner, especially if there have been multiple partners.” If you’re an illegitimate child, DNA can help your case, but it’s not binding.

Next, get in quick: generally speaking, once an estate has been distributed, the horse has bolted. Also, make sure there’s an estate to claim. Maybe your parents had an epic retirement and spent all their money. If, on the other hand, you suspect that they hid their assets in order not to pay you, you’ll have to convince the court to subpoena their records, which may involve hiring a forensic accountant. That can be expensive.

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In the first instance, try negotiating informally. If your parents cut you out of the will because they didn’t approve of your lifestyle – whether that be your sexuality, religion or spousal choice – speak to your siblings, if you have them. “There’s a good chance they won’t share your parents’ attitude and will help you out,” says Meiliunas.

If you do commence court proceedings, you’ll be ordered into mediation. “Be sensible and realistic,” he says. “If you’ve been a terrible kid, own it: the evidence will come out in trial anyway.”

Nowhere in the legislation is fairness or equity mentioned. And parents are perfectly entitled to change their minds about who they leave their money to. But a court does take into account plausibility and suspicious circumstances.

If you suspect that your parents weren’t in their right mind when they wrote their will, you can claim they lacked “testamentary capacity”. Talk to neighbours: were they ever found lost and confused? Did the cleaner notice a pattern of forgetfulness? “Odd or illogical texts or emails are also relevant,” says Meiliunas.

Will disputes can be harrowing. If the emotional distress involved in fighting for what you see as yours begins to outweigh the potential benefits, ask yourself if it’s worth it. As the country music legend and noted legal mind Kenny Rogers once said, “You got to know when to hold ’em [and] know when to fold ’em.”

** Advice given in this article is general in nature. Always seek your own professional advice that takes into account your own personal circumstances.*

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