I have money, but I’m still anxious about it. I overthink small purchases. I worry about being taken advantage of. I talk myself out of purchases I know I can afford, and I worry that a major event – like a crash or a scam – will wipe me out. I know the answer isn’t “more money” because I have money, and I’m still anxious. How do I get over this?

You’re not alone. I’ve seen this at every level – even in my clients who have millions in assets. You’re right in thinking that “more money” probably isn’t the answer. There isn’t a specific dollar figure that will magically cure your financial anxiety.

This can be difficult to grasp because the default assumption tends to be “more money” will fix all your financial anxiety. Certainly, it can make specific anxieties go away. But what many people find is – one anxiety evaporates, but there’s another around the corner.

One day, you’re anxious about paying the bills. Then, you get some money, and feel some temporary relief. But now, you’re worried about being able to afford a property. So, you work hard, get a property, and now you’re worried about paying the mortgage.

You think “when the house is paid off, then I’ll feel better.” Yet then, you’re worried about having enough for retirement. And when you have that, you’re still worried you might lose it all.

You can spend your whole life anxious about money, no matter how much you have. This is the first important realisation because it lends itself to the question: “If ‘more money’ isn’t the answer, what is? If I’m anxious no matter how much money I have, the problem isn’t the money.”

The practical side of financial anxiety

The first thing I look at in these situations is – how much structure and clarity do you have in the way you are managing your wealth? Often, I find that at least part of the anxiety is coming from feeling confused, overwhelmed or out of control by the management of the finances.

Maybe you have money, but you still feel pretty daunted by it. Maybe you earn well, or you’ve come into an inheritance. So, you’ve managed to accumulate wealth, but perhaps haven’t developed the systems, structures, and strategies to manage it confidently.

This can be a recipe for anxiety because now you’re worried about losing it, making the wrong decision, being ripped off; who do you talk to or who do you trust? It’s like being asked to race a sports car when you never figured out how to drive a Toyota around the block.

There are people who don’t lose any sleep when the market crashes, or when petrol prices go up.

So, let’s go back to basics for a moment. Do you have a clear long-term investment strategy you feel confident in? Is your cashflow organised so you know what’s coming in, where the money is going, and how much you’re saving? Do you feel like you know what you’re doing – or do you feel like you’re ‘winging it’ and hoping it will be okay? The latter is a recipe for anxiety.

However, what if you do have your ducks in a row – and you’re still anxious?

The psychological side of financial anxiety

The first step here is – separating your “money” from your “experience of money”. For the most part, we tend to conflate the two. “I’m experiencing X (e.g. anxiety) because Y (e.g. I don’t have enough money, the economy is bad, inflation is high, markets are volatile etc).”

But those things do not universally “cause” anxiety to everyone, right? There are people who don’t lose any sleep when the market crashes, or when petrol prices go up, etc. It is possible to experience those events differently. So there is an element of subjective experience here.

This is the gateway to taking more ownership over your experience of money. As long as you are using money as the cause, the reason, the justification for your emotional response – your emotional experience of money will always be attached to whatever is happening externally.

But when you create a separation, you now have the opportunity to change your experience of money. Now, it’s not “I’m feeling anxious because markets are volatile,” it’s “I am feeling anxious and markets are volatile.”

This provides you with a different line of enquiry. Is it possible to not feel anxious about volatile markets? Where did you learn to feel anxious in response to volatile markets in the first place? What would you have to believe to not feel anxious in response to volatile markets? What is the range of other possible responses one could have to volatile markets?

This is the process of starting to unravel and reshape your internal experience of money. It’s not about changing the money – it’s about changing how you’re relating to the money.

Paridhi Jain is a money and mindset coach who combines practical strategies with mindset transformation to help clients create more freedom and fulfilment in wealth, work and life. Find Paridhi at: skilledsmart.com.au

• Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers’ decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making any financial decisions.