- See more This is Money on Google - save us as a Preferred Source
Nearly half of people in a relationship find money one of the hardest topics to discuss and one in six admit it is forbidden territory, new research reveals.
And while 65 per cent believe couples should talk about money before moving in together, just 11 per cent actually did this themselves.
'Financial intimacy is not about handing over every bank statement on a first date,' says Tamsin Powell of Creditspring, which carried out the research.
'It is about making space to be truthful as the relationship becomes more serious -especially if money is tight, credit is involved or one person is carrying debt.'
Discussing salaries can be particularly challenging, and while four out of five couples did it in the early stages of dating, some waited until they moved in together or got engaged.
Some 41 per cent of those surveyed said they believed financial compatibility matters as much as romantic compatibility in a successful relationship.
Honesty about money: Shared direction matters more than matching incomes, says Creditspring
Talk about money before you move in together
Tamsin suggests five topics to discuss before moving with your partner.
- Talk about goals before focusing on salaries
Ask what each of you wants money to help with: building savings, clearing debt, buying a home, travelling or having more breathing room each month, says Powell.
Shared direction matters more than matching incomes.
- Start with the next shared decision
You do not need to cover every detail in one conversation. Start with what is directly ahead, whether that is a holiday, moving in together, household bills or a major purchase.
- Agree what fair looks like
An equal split is not always the fairest split. If incomes, caring responsibilities or existing commitments differ, talk openly about an arrangement that feels manageable on both sides.
- Treat honesty as the expectation, not a confession
Debt, spending and credit use should not be treated as moral failings. However, hiding them can undermine trust. The aim is not perfection; it is clarity and an agreed plan.
- Seek support before pressure builds
If money is becoming difficult to manage, it is better to explore options early than wait until a bill, holiday or shared cost becomes unmanageable.
Which money issues cause most tension
Impulse purchases are a major cause of irritation, with 18 per cent citing this as a source of tension in a relationship, the survey found.
This was tied with lending money to friends or family, followed closely at 17 per cent by disputes over bills and household costs.
Some 15 per cent complained about one partner spending more than the other, while 12 per cent were discomfited by one being unable to afford plans the other wants to do. Creditspring also found:
-
Some 18 per cent keep savings private or use credit without telling a partner, and 16 per cent hide personal debt, loans or borrowing
-
One in four have lied about the cost of a purchase or have hidden a purchase from their partner
-
Nearly two-thirds of people said they would be more concerned if a partner hid debt than if they had debt
-
Some 47 per cent of those polled think people pretend to be more financially comfortable than they really are when dating.
Creditspring, which makes no-interest loans to members who pay a monthly fee, surveyed 2,000 people, weighted to be representative of the UK's adult population. Nearly 1,200 were currently in a relationship.
'Money is tied up with security and self-worth, so it is understandable that couples can put these conversations off,' says Powell.
'But debt or financial struggles do not automatically damage a relationship, what tends to cause the real harm is finding out that something has been hidden.
'People may want a partner to be honest about what they spend, whether they can afford a plan, or whether they are using credit, but fear of judgment, embarrassment and the pressure to appear financially secure can make it easier to postpone the conversation than start it.'