Mummy, if I eat these will my tummy get big?’ My eight-year-old daughter was holding three chocolate mini eggs in her hand, looking at them with such suspicion that they might have been calorific grenades.

How I hate these moments when I realise that despite all my efforts to shield my three daughters (the others are aged five and two) from the tyranny of female beauty, somehow the message they have absorbed is unequivocal: it is better for girls to be slim, pretty and delicate.

I have built all the barricades I can against this idea. Not once have I uttered the f-word (fat) or c-word (calorie) around them. Their dollies are squidgy fabric things, not wasp-waisted Barbies. As for being their role model, every day they watch me chucking crisps down my neck without a care.

Yet still, I can see the shadow of self-awareness falling over them. My five-year-old likes to look ‘fancy’ and prefers to wear belted dresses to show off her waist. ‘But it’s better to be comfy, darling!’ I cry, in my slobby uniform of joggers and baggy T-shirt.

It is sad to realise that, whatever you do, your daughters will start comparing their gorgeous faces and bodies to those of celebrities and influencers – and extremely worrying when today’s beauty standard is so unrealistic.

It’s not enough to look healthy, shiny-haired and white-toothed now. No, you need skin like airbrushed caramel, a Kardashian bum that needs its own postcode, a waist that is impossibly tiny.

Which brings me to Ariana Grande – the pop singer whose latest video, Petal, has caused a furore. One scene has her dressed in a low-cut black top revealing protruding shoulder bones and a clearly visible rib cage.

She looks so frail she’d be felled by a summer breeze. As actress Jameela Jamil put it this week: ‘This poor woman is possibly dying right in front of us.’

Cue outrage from some Grande fans, who point to statements the singer has made such as that ‘we should be gentler and less comfortable commenting on people’s bodies’. She has talked of feeling like ‘a specimen in a petri dish’, and has sung: ‘Don’t comment on my body, do not reply.'

Her management have announced that after her current tour, Grande will be ‘taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances, which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny’. In short: nothing to see here!

Clare Foges says it is not Grande who deserves blame, but those around her who allow this, or even cynically play on her appearance for publicity

Clare says we can’t turn back the clock, but we can – and should – push back against images showing off unhealthy extremes

I sympathise with Grande. It must be horrible to have every inch of your body criticised. So why write about it? Because there is a point when a celebrity’s body ceases to be their own business. Grande has huge influence over little girls like my own. She is Belle from Beauty and the Beast made real, enormous brown eyes and huge smile – features exaggerated by her extreme thinness.

Seeing a pop star looking like this will mean young girls will come to think of this as normal, like it is an achievable look if they just cut out a few chocolate bars. Grande has said ‘healthy can look different’. But visible shoulder bones are not normal. Seeing several ribs is not normal. Twig-like upper arms are not normal.

The number of children and young people with eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia has shot up in recent years. Normalising extreme thinness will only make this worse.

It is not Grande who deserves blame, but those around her who allow this, or even cynically play on her appearance for publicity. If they are so anti-scrutiny, why pick outfits showing her emaciated frame, guaranteeing backlash?

You can imagine the hangers-on saying ‘you were fabulous, Ariana!’ after each take. If their own loved one were this thin, they would be calling the doctor.

I’m grateful that in the 90s – during my teen self-consciousness – the celebrities were different. Instead of skeletal stars, we had B*Witched jumping up and down in double denim, the Spice Girls having fun, Alanis Morissette being grungy, Bjork being mad.

We can’t turn back the clock, but we can – and should – push back against images showing off unhealthy extremes. That is why the Grande video should be taken down by online platforms.

Yes, people would bleat on about censorship, but it would send a message: this kind of look is not normal or aspirational.

If those around Grande have her best interests at heart, they will withdraw the video and get her the support she clearly needs.

Stupid and spiteful - just pure bigotry

Education Secretary Lucy Powell blames Michael Gove for a million young people not being in education, employment or training

Who or what is to blame for the fact that a million young people are not in education, employment or training? According to new education minister Lucy Powell, it’s former education secretary Michael Gove.

As political attacks go, this is not just spiteful but stupid. Gove oversaw reforms which drove England up the league tables. He was determined to help pupils in poor areas who faced ‘the soft bigotry of low expectations. 'If reversing his ‘legacy’ means dumbing down, God help the nation’s children.

Peaty’s not shown real forgiveness

As the feud between Adam Ramsay-Peaty and his parents rumbles on, the swimmer has said, ‘as a Christian’, he will forgive his parents, but only when ‘I feel like they’ve improved as people’. I’m not sure he has been reading his Bible too closely. As it says in Ephesians 4:32, ‘be kind to one another, tender- hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you’. Real forgiveness has no conditions. Besides, after his behaviour, shouldn’t it be for his parents to do the forgiving?

Adam Ramsay-Peaty has declared that, ‘as a Christian’, he will forgive his parents when he feels 'they’ve improved as people’

It’s way too early for Christmas chocolate

Though we are still in balmy high summer, Morrisons is already stocking Christmas chocolate, from KitKat santas to Cadbury advent calendars. You don’t have to be Scrooge to find this a little early. Can’t we just enjoy the season we’re in?

Though we are still in balmy summer, Morrisons is already stocking Christmas chocolate, from KitKat santas to Cadbury advent calendars. You don’t have to be Scrooge to find this too early. Can’t we just enjoy the season we’re in?

I feel deep sympathy for Christopher Phillips

Christopher Phillips has been sent to prison for keeping his dead mother in a freezer for three years while her pension rolled in. It sounds awful, but reading that he used to watch television while holding her hand, I felt deep sympathy for his grief. With prisons bursting at the seams, a non-custodial sentence would be more appropriate.

Donna Air celebrates her 47th birthday by posing naked but for a strategically-placed newspaper

Do we have to see your birthday suit, Donna?

First Jonathan Ross’s daughter Betty ‘celebrates’ turning 35 by posting pictures wearing lingerie. Then Donna Air ‘celebrates’ turning 47 by posing naked but for a strategically placed newspaper. Why should turning a year older mean getting naked? What’s wrong with having a slice of birthday cake?

Christopher Phillips has been sent to prison for keeping his dead mother in a freezer for three years while her pension rolled in. It sounds awful, but reading that he used to watch television while holding her hand, I felt deep sympathy for his grief. With prisons bursting at the seams, a non-custodial sentence would be more appropriate.

If you’re worried about your own or someone else’s health, contact charity Beat on 0808 801 0677 or visit beateatingdisorders.org.uk